Okayâ€¦so itâ€™s setting in now that Logan has Downs Syndrome.Â The thoughts go through my mindâ€¦some I share and some I think would be better not mentioning that the thought had crossed my mind.Â I started looking at different â€œTypical familiesâ€ with the dynamic that I thought would be ours- One sister and two brothers.Â Jada, of course doing her hair and trying on about two thousand dresses a day.Â Some she doesnâ€™t even change, she just layers them on top of each other until she realizes that she is too hot and comes to the conclusion that it wasnâ€™t maybe the best idea.Â And the two boys, Asher and Logan, wrestling on the carpet, throwing a football and competeing for the girls.Â I realized that it would be different.Â Some moments Iâ€™m excited about the Challenge God has placed before me, and then other timesâ€¦I think that I donâ€™t know if itâ€™s something I can handle.Â One of my thoughts I had said was that I donâ€™t want to change a 40 year oldâ€™s diapers.Â I Donâ€™t want to have a kid the rest of my lifeâ€¦what is Jody and I going to do when everyone is having a blast with the â€œempty nest syndromeâ€ and we are still going strong with taking care of him.Â Now yes, that may not be the best thoughts, the best attitude to haveâ€¦I am fully aware of that.Â But unfortuntlyâ€¦Thatâ€™s what I thought, I canâ€™t help itâ€¦these are the things that come to mind every now and then.Â And then I thoughtâ€¦why am I thinking so far into the futureâ€¦are we granted tomorrow? Â Logan is a baby right now, he is our baby and when heâ€™s forty years old and we are having a laugh togetherâ€¦he is still my Logan.Â He wonâ€™t be a forty year old man that I have to take care of cause I have to, but it will be about me wanting to.
So many times we start running, we think that itâ€™s the only way to get to the next thing, the next thought.Â And I realized that I was tripping over my own feet.Â If I put myself ahead of time, Iâ€™ll miss the laughs and good times along the way.Â Iâ€™ll miss opportunities to tell my story because Iâ€™m too busy thinking about the next thing.Â When Lazarus, Jesusâ€™ best friend, was pronounced dead and Mary and Martha came running to Jesus to tell him that He must come to raise him from the dead.Â Jesus took His time getting there.Â He took four days to get to Lazarus and along the way He healed and touched people.Â If He would have run to the aid of Lazarus, He would have missed the opportunities for a miracle.Â To encourage you to just walk, not run through your life.Â Enjoy the moments that you have with each other, embrace the mistakes, and know that God knows the Future you have and He will prepare you for those days aheadâ€¦but to not let today pass you by because you have your mind on tomorrow.Â Â Hang up your running shoes and enjoy the Life that is before you.
There are so many things that we are learning that I never thought I would have to.Â All the different programs from Bright Starts, Champions, Alta Regional, etc, that we are participating in and meeting with.Â Â There are so many.Â We have had a lot of different appointments, meetings, and discussions with many different doctors and caretakers.Â Â And we have been very fortunate to love all of them.Â But on this particular dayâ€¦I thought different.
â€œLetâ€™s talk about Schoolâ€Â Pat Davis shares from Alta Regional, Loganâ€™s Coordinator.Â â€œWhen heâ€™s ready he can go to school and can be picked up and dropped back off by a Charter busâ€¦â€Â She said a lot more right hereâ€¦but I didnâ€™t really hear much more.Â I heard that Logan would not be riding the same bus as Jada and Asher.Â I heard that Logan was not going to have that memory of riding on the same bus with his siblings as I did.Â I heardÂ that my kids would be going in different directions.
I remember the bus rides like it was yesterday.Â The fight for the window seat, the placing of the bag at the end of the seat closest to the aisle so it would look like you were saving the seat, so no one would sit next to you.Â The sly moves to eat the leftovers from lunch so the bus driver couldnâ€™t see.Â The window rolled down and the air blowing in your face thinking about the note you wish that boy hadnâ€™t seen.Â The homework you would cram in so you could just play as soon as your feet hit the ground.Â The conversations and debates with the other less fortunate to not have a driverâ€™s license like you.Â The complaining ofÂ the teachers assignments and their hair pieces that just donâ€™t fit their heads.Â But the thing I remember most was riding with my sister.
Sandy was the most sweet, non confrontational person Iâ€™ve ever met.Â She was the Peace keeper.Â Never hurting a fly.Â And on the bus was the beginning of my first long fight.Â With tears in her eyes she begins to explain that someone had called her a name in school.Â Now mind youâ€¦this name was â€œdorkâ€, although not an extremely upsetting horrible nameâ€¦it hurt Sandy.Â And if you hurt herâ€¦youâ€™ve messed with me.Â The girl happen to not only live in the same neighborhood as usâ€¦she road the same bus.Â Score!Â I was going to make sure that she knew who I was and that she would never pick on my sister again.
Walking up with confidence I calmly said, and with great fear behind my voiceâ€¦â€Heyâ€¦Iâ€™m Sandyâ€™s sister, you called her a dork today, and if you do that againâ€¦you will mess with me, Got it?â€Â She shook her head, and I confidently walked back to my seat, of course without the bus driver knowing I was up off the seat.Â And I felt good.Â She was protected and I did my job.
The next day we were loading on the bus and this rather intimidating large girl who was a grade older than me, came up to me.Â â€œIâ€™m Rachelâ€™s sister, the girl you said you were going to mess withâ€¦yeahâ€¦Iâ€™m her sister and if you mess with herâ€¦you mess with me, Got it?â€Â The bus rides were never the same.Â This Junior would gather her friends tell jokes and snicker as they laughed at me.Â I would feel a paper ball hit me in the back of the head.Â But I could hold my own.Â Itâ€™s all part of memories.Â Sandy continued her bus rides and her conversations as if no one had ever called her a name.Â It was worth it, cause I did my job.Â I protected her.Â She didnâ€™t have to worry.
Who is going to do that for Logan?Â I know Asher will be there for Jada.Â I know that my kids will do the same for each other.Â But I want Asher to be able to put an end to any harassing on his younger brother.Â Thatâ€™s what brother do, right?Â Â Â These are the times itâ€™s hard.Â The things you always dream about for your kids and their relationships with one anotherâ€¦you want that to be for all your kids, not just a couple.Â They arenâ€™t going to ride the same bus.Â They arenâ€™t going to go to the same school. They arenâ€™t going to go to the same classes.Â They arenâ€™t going to be playing the same sports.Â Butâ€¦but, they are going to come home to the same house.Â They are going to experience the same love and attention.Â They are going to share the same memories of our vacations and holidays.Â They are going to know the same God that we serve.Â Itâ€™s all different.Â The things that are normal to most families becomes abnormal for us.Â But normal can be boringâ€¦repetitiveâ€¦and forseen.Â This is not a forseen lifeâ€¦and we are okay with that.Â We are okay with that.
We received a phone call of news that is the beginning of an incredible but different journey for us Vaughns. And to take you back to where it all started to gatherâ€¦here is the story and details about Logan Scout Vaughn. I had suspected something was different about our son Logan on the night he was bornâ€¦.there was something different about his eyes. I had asked the doctor if everything was okayâ€¦.she said that heâ€™s fineâ€¦healthy, nothing to be concerned about. We took him home and I still kept seeing some features that just didnâ€™t seem normal to me. Now if you know my other two kidsâ€¦Jada and Asherâ€¦Iâ€™m basically an incubator for my husband Jody. I have reproduced little Jodys and Logan didnâ€™t look like them. I thought okayâ€¦maybe I finally had one that looks like me, and that is why he is different looking than his siblings. At his two month appointment the Doctor did her routine check up and was noticing some physical milestones he wasnâ€™t reaching like holding his head up and engaging with his eyes. She mentioned going to a Neurologists, so we set up an appointment seeing why he seemed behind in his development. The Neurologists looked at Logan and said â€œthis baby is perfect, he is a normal baby, 100 percent sureâ€ We were relieved because no one wants anything to be wrong with their child. But he set up some blood work because he said he didnâ€™t want to just blow me off because he believes in a mothers intuition. We got the blood work done and just had to wait. Meanwhile I switched Doctors and was at an appointment for Logan being sick. Mentioning my concerns she said what the other two Doctors had said…He seems fine, but I donâ€™t know. Anxious about the test results I had asked if the Doctor was able to look up the results through the lab that we had gotten the blood drawn at. She said she would check and sheâ€™d be right back. My sister and I waited and as we waited my phone kept ringing, and I had this feeling it was Neurologist so I picked it up. â€œIs this the mother of Logan Vaughn? Doctor would like to see you as soon as possibleâ€¦would you be able to come in on Monday?â€ I thought why if everything was okay would I need to be consultedâ€¦I asked questions and her answer, â€œI really am not supposed to tell you over the phoneâ€ I said, â€œItâ€™s okayâ€¦we know heâ€™s been testedâ€¦Iâ€™m okay with the results, I just need to knowâ€ She than proceeded with the news that made me weak to the knees, â€œYour son has Downs Syndrome.â€ I honestly didnâ€™t know what to do for about 5 minutes. My sister just comforted and I just cried. The Doctor came back in with the results written in paper all the more confirmation that Itâ€™s real. And as most Doctors are more cut dryâ€¦she started to tell me that we need to get him in asap for a echocardiogram, therapy, consultations and many more words I was foreign to. â€œPleaseâ€¦.I just found outâ€¦can I just call youâ€¦Iâ€™ll make all the appointments I needâ€¦I just need a minuteâ€. Now I had suspected this, I had talked to my family and friends questioning â€œDo you think He has Downs syndrome? Do you see what I see? Doesnâ€™t his eyes look different to you?â€ But after three Doctors all with no concern I started to believe that maybe itâ€™s just me. Now we are all human, and of course itâ€™s not the news you hope to hear but I wanted to share with you not only the story behind how we found outâ€¦but why this phone call is going to change my life in such an amazing way.
God makes no mistakes. His will for our lives is perfect. And I know that Logan Scout Vaughn is going to change my life, my families life and everyone around by just being him. I believe that we are here on this earth for two reasonsâ€¦to love people and to tell people about God. Jody and I were talking about what holds us back in sharing Godâ€™s word and seeing Miracles happen. Lacking Faith and fear. The Bible says that we should have faith like a Child…and Logan will have that faithâ€¦and the Fear of rejection, fear of what people will sayâ€¦Logan wonâ€™t care. You see I believe with my whole heart that Logan is going to change lives in such a unique wayâ€¦.he is going to teach us how to loveâ€¦and to be free. I canâ€™t tell you how blessed I feel to be one of the 400 parents that are entrusted with such a gem. Of course there is fear of the unknown, but we are going to take this one day, one step at a time knowing that this was all in Godâ€™s plan. I know that Jada and Asher are already the sweetest little kids and they will embrace this situation when they are old enough to comprehendâ€¦they will never know anything different than having an extra special brother. We arenâ€™t thinking that this is going to be a breeze by any meansâ€¦we know that this was a life altering phone callâ€¦but we are embracing it with open arms and are excited about the journey that we are going on! So please know we arenâ€™t needing condolencesâ€¦itâ€™s totally not a sad thingâ€¦but an honor to have this situation come on us. Now join us as we go on this journey of raising Logan with the laughs that we will have, the cries we will share and the memories that we will make.
The Golden Ticket.
I am sure you are at least familiar with the movie â€œWillie Wonka and the chocolate factoryâ€.Â That was one of my favorite movies growing up.Â Although my sister was deathly scared of the Umpalupas, it was still a family favorite.Â I watched that movie probably a dozen times when I was a kid.Â Iâ€™m sure it had something to do with my sister having to run away at the site of Willyâ€™s helpersâ€¦but regardless, I loved the movie.Â It is different, full of adventures, where craziness takes place in an unknown world.Â Itâ€™s intriguing.Â Itâ€™s different.Â Itâ€™s Bizare.Â Â Well I decided that it was time to introduce the movie to my older kids Jada and Asher.Â I always tell them the story line in our daily conversations to see if it would cause any concern to watch the movie, to test if they are old enough.Â If you think about itâ€¦itâ€™s pretty funny, â€œOkay, so then there are these little green guys that comes out randomly that are small but large headsâ€¦and they suck a child in a small tube because he ate the chocolate.Â Then there is this mean girl that ate a blueberry gum and turned into a blueberry and had to roll her awayâ€¦â€Â But there was no rise from themâ€¦just bewilderment.Â Â Â If nothing else, I thought that maybe, just maybe that they would not ask for gum anymore.
So they werenâ€™t scared so I popped in the movie.Â They loved it.Â They werenâ€™t scared at all.Â I was pleasantly surprised.Â You always want the same childhood memories that are good to bring joy to your own kids.Â Itâ€™s something I could watch and enjoy as well.Â And as I watched this movie as an adult, something popped out that meant something to me.
Here they gave only 5 tickets to the world to see this factory.Â To visit a place that not many have seen.Â A place of mystery.Â A place that is untouched.Â A place that only 5 people will be able to experience.Â And as I sat on the couch with my two older kids and watching Logan playing on the groundâ€¦something hit me.Â I have one!Â I have a Golden Ticket!Â You see, not many people have and will be able to venture in this world of Downâ€™s Syndrome like me and my family get too.Â We get to take a journey into uncharted land with a few other families that have been fortunate enough to get a golden ticket as well.Â We are able to experience, see, and enjoy what others would want if they knew how amazing this journey leads us on.Â Now there are also scary parts of this journeyâ€¦the unknown, the embarrassing times, the looks, the indescripable feelings that come and go, the health issues.Â But if you asked Charlieâ€¦he would do it all over again if he could.Â He would take more people into the factory if allowed.Â I feel that wayâ€¦I would take more people on this journey with me for sure.Â Itâ€™s different, itâ€™s crazy, itâ€™s never ending, and itâ€™s my life. Â I realized that I have 2 wonka bars and a golden ticket.Â A Ticket that I wouldnâ€™t trade for anything in the whole worldâ€¦but Iâ€™d take you with me on this journey for sure.